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a letter to the love of my life

by kaia morningside

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about

i wrote this about my struggles with opiates. hope y'all can dig it.
-kaia

lyrics

when i met you, i could have sworn it was love at first touch.
i was full of life and impulse and vigor and naivety, and you smelled
like everything my mother had warned me not to go near
i was jam packed with desire to be outside of the box, and you were the open air i'd been longing for
so i took you home.
i remember that day like it was yesterday-- it seems to repeat itself
every single time you're around.
i am still-- to this day- blown away by how instantaneously comfortable i was with you.
from day 1, we curled up on my bed, listening to soft songs, lying so still, but feeling like we were dancing. i was so comfortable with your arms wrapped around me and your hands cupping my soul that even the pain of you squeezing the vomit and the bile out of me went unnoticed
and, since day 1, it has been the same. i lay with you, frozen, but dancing, ignoring all of the hurt and all of the pain i have ever felt.
you complete me.
not only have you done a lot for me, love
but i've done a lot for you too
lying to my family about where i am/what i'm doing/where all my money is going
i don't mind though, sweetie,
i like taking you out to dinner
even if your idea of "dinner" is feasting on the person i used to be.
I know that one day, probably very soon, they'll force me to say goodbye to you again.
because although i cannot notice how badly you are hurting me
my friends can
my mom can
my therapist can
strangers walking down the street can
it's like i'm always holding your hand, even when i leave you at home.
i'm thoroughly convinced that you might be my soul mate.
much love to you today, and every other day
-your victim

credits

released July 2, 2015
thanks to anyone whose ever sold me drugs, and to the drugs themselves for giving me something to write about

oh, and canva.com for helping me make album art, because i don't have photoshop or any aptitude for digital art.

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

kaia morningside Portland, Pennsylvania

queer earthling from north eastern pennsylvania. i like poetry and illegal substances.

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